Saturday, 27 May 2017

Finding Happiness!!

After a night of storm in Terai, I sat outside on the terrace of a hundred year old house, trying to make sense of the sounds of the night. Two fireflies playing hide and seek in the dark, caught my eye. And I wondered, while we spend entire lives trying to find happiness, isn't it actually as elusive as those fireflies in the dark. 

The stars in the sky continue to amaze me as ever. Are these the same stars I looked at from where I was a decade ago.. Are these stars silent witnesses to all my losses and gains in life.. Do they feel happy and sad for me at times.. Or do they sympathize for what becomes of us.. Will their tiny lights be a source of strength when all else fails. Whatever be, I hope they will be my small anchors in firmament reminding me of my journeys in life and how ephemeral all else can be. Happiness be mine!


Sunday, 23 April 2017

Of a sun-kissed window and labyrinth of corridors..


It is not always about the navigating the labyrinth of corridors
It is neither always about the people and power
The stones and birds and trees
Tell their stories too
Not all of them can sadly be understood

Small moments can hold exquisite spells of beauty
Like those last rays of the fading sun
On a back-office window
Or the stunning symmetry of those columns 
And bays and cornices

How it must feel for the place
Whose story is long lost somewhere
To witness millions of stories 
Being created each day
And stay silent through them all



 







Wednesday, 8 March 2017

I am woman!

I am never the one to celebrate days for things like friendship, love and more so womanhood. Yet, call it serendipity, or whatever, over the past fortnight, a few books and movies just seemed to reaffirm my constant belief that a woman's life is never easy no matter what she does and how powerful she might be. I do not draw from political or social events yet the books/movies whose covers I reproduce below left me with a chain of thoughts that prompted me to share these stories.


     














And just as one good thing leads to another, I stumbled across life stories of two extra ordinary women recently featured by National Geographic- Eliza Scidmore and Marie Tharp. My small list is by no means exhaustive and neither suggestive. Yet these stories moved me somewhere deep inside.

While these stories are indeed inspiration, so are those of my mother, grandmothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, bosses and scores of other women who form part of our lives knowingly or unknowingly. Each one of you is a Sarah Grimke, a Beryl Markham, a Joy Mangano, a Waris Dirie, a MataHari, a Skeeter, a Scidmore, a Marie Tharp. More importantly, each one of you is a Woman. And each one of you is me!

And what better song lyrics to convey it all..

I Am Woman
~Helen Reddy
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

I am woman

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Slipping through my fingers..

It seems only yesterday that little N was four months old and I wrote her a poem. Now, with her fourth birthday barely a week away, I sometimes wonder if she was ever that small, and if yes, then when did she really grow up. For all the things she says, all the ways in which she shows her love for me, A and her pet brother, S; I find it hard to believe that I was actually capable of bringing something so beautiful to this world. While words can never truly capture the churn of emotions inside a mother's heart, even now as I pull her close, I already dread the day she will grow wings and fly out of my nest. And when I saw this ABBA song in a movie early today, it was as if someone had channeled my feelings into words..

"Slipping Through My Fingers"

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning 
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile 
I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness 
And I have to sit down for a while 
The feeling that I'm losing her forever 
And without really entering her world 
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter 
That funny little girl 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table 
Barely awake I let precious time go by 
Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling 
And a sense of guilt I can't deny 
What happened to the wonderful adventures 
The places I had planned for us to go 
Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't 
And why, I just don't know 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture 
And save it from the funny tricks of time 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning 
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile


Its hard to say goodbye to my doll everyday. Irrespective of how good or bad my day might have been, her little stories make it all worthwhile. And for the rest of my life, I will remember this.